


offer me that deathless death

by quackingfish



Category: Hat Films - Fandom, The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Car Sex, Hand Jobs, Other, Trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:20:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2626568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quackingfish/pseuds/quackingfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strife has car trouble, and Smith is only too happy to help him out, in the way that only a Kelpie can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	offer me that deathless death

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Take Me to Church- Hozier
> 
> cw for all the consent issues that come with kelpie!smith picking up strangers and then magicing them into sleeping with them (EDIT: aka rape why did past!me try to sugarcoat this)
> 
> note: Smith uses they/them and Kirin uses fae/faer because a) nonhuman characters are not gonna be binary okay and b) the fae lord uses fae pronouns and it brings me great joy
> 
> EDIT: oh wow in writing this i got so caught up in umy i didnt realise how fucked up it was so uh. basically the fact i wrote a literal rape fic while not thinking of it as exactly that grosses me out but im leaving this up b/c i dont want to deny that this happened. the atmosphere of this au & the tumblr fandom at the time was like this- sugarcoating rape as an essential part of the au  
> i fucked up. please pay attention to the content warnings

Smith drummed their fingers on the wheel, pausing in their humming to grin at a skinny guy in a waistcoat, staring down at his steaming engine. They slowed to a crawl, sliding the window down and peering out at him. “Hey, you need any help?”

The guy whirled around, the flash of alarm in his eyes catching Smith’s interest. Should be a good one.

“Who are you?”

“Smith. Short for, uh, carsmith. Yup.” They nodded, leaning further out the window with a grin. “Okay, that was a lie, but I can still help you.”

“Strife.” He said, stiff and fully aware of the awkwardness that came from Smith not asking his name. It wouldn’t matter soon enough, so they didn’t really see a point. What they did see, though, were the barely-visible brown freckles that were scattered across his cheeks. Cute. “I’m fine, just missing the wrench I need.”

“Oh, that bites, buddy.” Smith nodded again, directing their gaze further down the road. Steady, wait a second, and then bring in the hook.  “You could probably borrow one from the shop down the road, though it’s a little ways on.”

It had also been closed since Smith started doing this, but he didn’t need to know that.

“That was my plan,” He inched backwards, leaning on the car, and Smith nodded, staying silent when Strife paused, his knee starting to jitter. He’d definitely still take the bait, Smith knew it. He wanted to so bad, he _had_ to. “I’d just rather not be on the road in the dark. Never know what’s in woods like these.”

“Yeah, this isn’t really a good place for walking.” They waited until they were sure Strife was watching then sucked their lip into their mouth, humming and glancing at the ever empty seat beside him. They should probably get the leather cleaned again soon. “I’m headed that way anyway, it wouldn’t be much trouble to give someone as nice as you a lift. You’re not some like, devil-hitchhiker waiting to steal my virginity, are you? Can’t have any of those in my car, she’d hate it.”

Strife laughed, a high startled sound, and he took a full step closer. “Just a businessman, I’m afraid. Are you sure you’re going that way? I don’t want to bother you.”

“It’s not like I’m giving you my life or anything, just a favour. You’re right, I wouldn’t want to leave you all alone out here.” Smith smiled, pouring as much warmth into Strife as they could.

“Thanks,” Strife returned their smile and Smith’s eyes flashed. They grinned into the forest as Strife crossed to the other side of their car, laughing and stretching across to pop the door open when Strife knocked on it.

“Sorry, forgot. I don’t do this often, that kind of shit.” Smith patted the leather and Strife slipped into the car, clearly forgetting to lock his own, which would be convenient later. It’d be easy to find a nice technomancer to buy it, especially if they didn’t have to break a window to get in.

“I don’t end up stranded on the side of the road often, so. Yeah.” Strife nodded and Smith turned away, their hand falling back into place on the wheel as they started the car up, flipping their hair out of his face once they started moving.

“Sorry,” His hair was still plenty wet, a tiny droplet or two landing on Strife. “I just went swimming, so I haven’t had a chance to dry off yet. Bit of a wet bugger, I’m afraid.”

Strife chuckled and Smith could feel him looking them up and down, and they leaned back into the plush leather, blatantly drawing his attention to the way their shirt clung to their skin, the fabric deliberately worn and thin. Deciding to do this wet was the best idea they’d ever had. They looked fucking _hot_.

“Shit,”Strife mumbled, too quiet for a human to hear, so Smith didn’t comment on it, just let their legs splay wider and took it slow round the next corner, whistling and tilting their head at the view. Sunsets made even the grimiest cities look like safe havens. Or maybe that was magic. Kirin liked that crap.

“Wow,” Strife laughed, relaxing just a bit more. “Industry looks impressive from here.”

“Yeah?” Smith glanced over at him, layers of glamour spilling out from their smile and taking hold immediately. Strife sank into the seat, his eyes never leaving Smith’s face. “Is that your thing then?”

“You could say that.” Strife started, and it was all too easy for Smith to keep him talking with a couple vocal nudges, nodding and asking the right questions whenever he paused and _damn_ , Strife was so enchanted with them that he didn’t even notice when the roads Smith was driving on stopped being real, in the human sense of the word.

The road went wherever Smith wanted it to, stretching out far beyond them, dark and covered with sharp edges of magic. They would have made it to the mechanic at least half an hour ago, if he’d been headed there. Not that it would do him any good, considering it had been burnt to the ground years before, around the time that Smith met Trott. Good times.

Smith waited for Strife to fall quiet again before shifting down a gear and letting their hand stay there, fingers tracing his thigh as they kept his eyes fixed forwards, shifting in their seat when they felt his eyes on them.

“God,” Strife whispered, and Smith smiled, turning to grin at him.

“Yeah?” Everything about them was just fucking _dripping_ with magic and Strife had no idea, just grinned back at them and let his legs fall minutely further open.

“I don’t do stuff like this. Ever.” Strife chewed his lip, and Smith slowed the car down, rolling their eyes when a tree waved at them. This place was fucking ridiculous.

“What, hitch a lift from hot people? Or just be hot yourself- cause that seems to be something you’re good at, mate.”

Strife blushed and covered his face with a hand, laughing and still not looking away from Smith. _Man_ , they were good.

“All of the above, and then some, I guess.” Strife shrugged and Smith stopped the car, finally turning to look at him properly after so long.

“How about you do me a favour and let me show you just how hot you are?” Smith’s hand stayed loosely on the steering wheel but they leaned forwards, their hand sliding around to Strife’s inner thigh.

“ _Oh_. Yeah, yeah, pl- yes.” Strife whined, leaning closer to them and grasping at Smith’s shoulder.

“Good.” Smith rumbled, close to Strife’s ear. He gasped, and Smith laughed, leaning back and catching Strife’s wrist as they did. They pushed their seat further back and leaned their elbow against the door, looking at Strife, who was chewing on his lip and pressing down on the spot on his leg where Smith’s hand had just been. “Come ‘ere then.”

Strife blinked and leapt into action, his face squishing up into Smith’s neck as he tried to swing his leg over their lap, cracking into the door and making Smith wince. Strife settled after a moment, grinding down into Smith’s lap and leaning forwards for a kiss. Smith gave it to him happily, their hands tangling around his waist, his neck, in his hair as they took control of his mouth.

Strife was really responsive, and Smith could feel him trying not to be for a second, trying to keep his noises all trapped up in his chest, so they pulled back, lunging forwards to kiss his neck and dipping one of their hands into the back of his jeans, clutching at his soft dark skin.

Strife gasped and nodded and Smith worked their hands around to his front, shoving his shirt up and dragging their mouth across his chest with just a _hint_ of teeth, grinning when he jerked and his hand thudded against Smith’s seat. They undid his jeans quickly, enough that Strife really _should_ have noticed, if he wasn’t too busy gasping and grinding down into Smith’s lap and Strife was way too caught up in Smith’s magic anyway. They weren’t really sure why they had even worried about it for a second.

As soon as Smith got their hands on Strife’s cock he was fucking _gone_. He started fucking into their hand immediately, slumping forwards and burying his face in their neck and oh _man_ , he was begging them to move faster, lips soft against their skin. Smith urged him on, gripping his hips and grinning wide, tightening their grip on Strife’s cock and sliding their hand up his back, holding him close.

“Shit-” Strife gasped, arching his back and smacking against the wheel, thankfully not setting off the horn, which Ross had been messing with a while back, so god knew what noise it’d make. It _definitely_ wouldn’t be as loud and gratifying as the noise Strife made when he came, slumping heavy against them.

“Nice,” Smith grinned, running their fingers along his back. “Up for round two in the back seat? I kinda want you to eat me out,” And then when Strife was done with that, they’d eat _him_. Smith was amazing.

“Oh _god_ , yeah. I just need- a minute, yeah.” Strife nodded, still pressed tight up against Smith’s chest.

“Okay,” Smith breathed, pressing their face into his hair. They stayed like that for a moment and then-

There was a knock on the door. They were in a magical forest that didn’t exist and somebody had just knocked on the car door. _Fuck_.

“Hello?” Smith snarled, their grip on Strife tightening.

“Hello, Smith.” _Kirindave._ Smith sighed and rolled the window down, petting Strife’s hair when he turned to look.

“Kirin. Why are you here? You know how I work, I used to be yours.”

“I do. That’s why I’m here. That’s-” Kirin pointed at Strife, crossing faer arms and shaking faer head as fae spoke. “-not yours. Under my protection, okay?”

“Really? And he was alone on my road at night? Sure, mate.” Smith needed to not piss Kirin off but _man_ , this sucked- they were so hungry and worked up and ugh.

“Still mine. Okay, not officially, but I will still destroy you if you hurt him.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Smith rolled their eyes and pushed Strife back, kissing him and taking their time licking at his mouth.

“I’m not an object,” Strife grumbled, clearly not aware of what was going on, like, at all. He even ducked to kiss Smith again, and they so did not miss the way Kirin’s eyes flashed when he did.

“Get out of the car, Strife.”

“Aw, give him time, we were having fun,” Smith grinned at Kirin, sliding his hand up Strife’s bare thigh. Sips was going to _kill_ them. Laugh first, but then kill them. Still, they might as well have fun with this if they were going to go hungry.

“Get _out_ of the car.” Kirin frowned and knocked on the door again.

“Go on, mate.” Smith sighed and nudged at Strife’s shoulder, meeting faer eyes.

“I still owe you an orgasm,” Strife kissed Smith’s cheek and they opened the door for him. Smith could hear fae grinding faer teeth outside the car. They were fucking _golden_.

“Hell _yes_ you do.” Smith grinned and grabbed his ass as he climbed out of their lap. Strife ducked to kiss them as soon as he’d gotten out of the car, and Smith totally didn’t try to hold onto his hair.

Smith let their head fall back against the seat as they watched Kirin guide Strife away, leaving the door open for way longer than they should have. Fuck, they wished they’d gotten to eat Strife. Maybe there’d be someone out late on the road who also had car trouble?

 


End file.
